I’ve had the same best friend
since we were 5 years old, but now we have very different
ideas about what is fun. She always wants to go to parties,
but I like to spend time doing new things with a smaller group
of people.
People develop in different ways and at different rates. It
can just be a difference of personality style. Some people
are introverts and enjoy a few close friends and are energized
by time alone. Others prefer large groups, lots of acquaintances,
and are energized by being around people. Or, your interests
are developing in a different direction than hers: you seem
to be exploring new possibilities and focusing on relationships,
while she seems to be caught up in the social party scene.
You can maintain your friendship, even while you create your
own identity. Find some common ground and activities you both
enjoy. Adolescence is an important time in your life to find
out more about yourself and the world.
When my brother was my age, he was allowed to stay
out later than I’m allowed to stay out now. What gives?
There may be a few factors at work when one child in a family
is granted privileges that another is not. Sometimes parents
learn from past parenting mistakes, or simply learn new parenting
techniques that they feel will help keep you safer and ultimately
happier. Despite being raised in the same family, you are
also a very different person from your older brother. Every
person matures in different ways and at different rates. Your
parents may be responding to the level of maturity and responsibility
that you (and your friends) are showing.
What if I go to a party and it turns out differently
than I expected?
Just give me a call and I’ll pick you up, no questions
asked.
Why do you need to know my plans? Why do you have
to meet my friends?
Because I care about you.
What do you do when someone you’ve been friends
with since you were little is going in another direction?
Sometimes that happens. You are at a time in your life when
there are lots of transitions and choices. If you no longer
share common interests, it’s hard to maintain the friendship
over time. If you both want to maintain the friendship, then
you need to cultivate some common activities or interests.
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