Every parent manages his or her relationship with children differently. Research has found that some strategies, or styles, are more effective than others. What is a “parenting style?” A parenting style refers to the manner in which parents treat, communicate with, discipline, and support their children. It encompasses both how the parent responds to the child, and how and what the parent expects from the child.

Here are four major categories for parenting styles, with general results for the well-being of the children:

Authoritative/Affirmative: these parents set clear limits and enforce limits and consequences. An authoritative parent is engaged, caring, and devoted. There is an emotional connection with expectations.
In general, these children tend to thrive, being successful both academically and socially.

Liberal/Permissive: these are loving parents who set fewer limits. They often want to be seen as “friend” and believe in letting children make their own mistakes, but don’t follow through to help children learn from and correct mistakes.
In general, these children succeed academically and socially, but are more inclined to be involved in drugs, alcohol and sex.

Dominating/Authoritarian: These parents tend to set strong rules, they are strict, and often lack compassion. Thy have a tendency to micromanage, and to allow adolescents to make very few of their own decisions.
In general, these children succeed academically and socially and tend to stay away from drugs, alcohol and sex. They are often, however, unhappy and emotionally troubled.

Unengaged: These parents provide no nurturing and set no limits.
Children are unsuccessful socially and academically and are often involved in drugs, alcohol and sex.

Research supports the theory that the authoritative parenting style is most closely related to happy, well-adjusted adolescences who avoid risky behaviors. Parents who are supportive and caring, while also monitoring behavior and enforcing boundaries, have teens who tend to be more successful in school and have better emotional, psychological and physical health.

In addition, several family factors are shown to affect the well-being of children. Positive parent-child relationships, for example, are extremely important for the well-being of the child. Teens who have caring, involved and satisfying relationships with their parents are more likely to be academically successful, socially well-adapted and to avoid risky behaviors. Teens often feel insecure and need to experience physical and emotional connection with their parents. Even if they ignore their parents, they want them around.
Modeling is also an important factor. Teens whose parents have positive and healthy behaviors are more likely to engage in those behaviors themselves. Parental awareness and monitoring of their child’s behavior has also been shown to positively affect a child’s welfare. Parents who know their children’s friends and activities, and who set age-appropriate limits have teens with lower rates of risky behaviors.

What types of monitoring can there be? A recent study picked out a list of actions that “hands-on” parents, whose children are less likely to engage in risky behaviors, consistently do:

• Monitor what their teens watch on TV
• Monitor Internet activity
• Put restrictions on the music their teens buy
• Know where their teens are, after school and on the weekends
• Expect to be told the truth about their teens’ plans
• Are “very aware” of their teens’ academic life
• Have a curfew
• Convey that they would be “extremely upset” if their teen used marijuana
• Eat dinner with their teens 6 or 7 times a week
• Have their teens complete regular chores
• Don’t watch TV during dinner
• Have an adult present when the teen comes home from school

While it can be difficult to do all of these consistently, we encourage you to make an effort to adopt as many as possible. If you have done few up until now, you may want to add new monitoring activities slowly, allowing your child to adjust to the new parenting behaviors. Keep up a dialogue. Explain to your child why family is important and why new guidelines are in place.

The Bottom Line
Most parents are heavily influenced by their own upbringing; however, each parent chooses how to raise his or her own child. The most important parenting factor for any family is that the parents convey love and consistency.