1. Start early. Even very young children need to hear about healthy relationships. Start talking with your child about friendship and respect early on, and then transition into talking about dating and physical relationships when your child is older. Answer young children’s questions about babies factually and lovingly.

2. Find “teaching moments.” It can be difficult to bring up a topic like sex, values, and relationships without a starter. Sometimes a TV commercial or show, a scene in a movie, a song or a billboard can present a great opener. Try asking your teen what he or she thinks about what you’ve just seen; for example, ask about its appropriateness or the accuracy of the information shown.

3. Be clear. Communicate your values and expectations in a loving and clear way. Don’t simply make rules, but tell your child what you think he or she is capable of. For example, always let someone in the family know where you are, and call if plans change. Young people need boundaries, and respond well to caring parents who set distinct limits. If you want them to wait to have sex, say so.

4. Be open and available. Let your teen know that he or she can come to you at any time and ask to talk about anything. If your child approaches you at a time when it is difficult to talk, make sure that you explain that you are busy and then immediately set up a time in the near future when you can address your child’s concern. If a child feels brushed off, he or she may not try communicating again!

5. Know the facts. The world of teen sex has changed dramatically in the past 20 years. There is more sex in the media, and more pressures at school. And sex has become scarier. There are more sexually transmitted diseases today than ever before. Educate yourself about what your teen might encounter.

6. Have additional Recursos on hand. If talking with your pre-teen, have books, videos or pamphlets that explain puberty. Or, if you are talking with an older teen, there are Recursos available that may help you convey your position to your child. Leave these materials where they are accessible. Your child will use them more, if you push them less.

7. Be involved. Start early with making a pattern of asking your child questions and listening to your child, so that to them you are a confident and a resource. Also, know your child’s friends and the friends’ parents. Be involved with your school. And be aware of what is being taught in your child’s school. Take the time to preview materials. If you aren’t comfortable with the topics cover, your child need not attend. Convey this in a gentle spirit.

8. Listen. This is a chance to find out what your child hears, thinks and experiences. Acknowledge his or her viewpoint and the pressures that he or she faces. Show that you respect your child as a person by respecting his or her privacy.

9. Be honest. Always answer your child’s questions honestly and appropriately for his or her age. Use correct terminology and names for body parts. If your own actions do not reflect what you are telling your teen, your child will get the message that you do not really think that whatever you told them to do is important. If there is a conflict, communicate, “I wish I had…”

10. Focus on the positive. Teen sexual behavior often results out of low self-esteem. Praise your child for the right decisions that he or she makes. You should also be careful not to demonize sex. Tell your child that sex, feelings, and hormones are natural and good, but are appropriate only within certain contexts.